


They Hurt Me First

by bipsycho_earper



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Aaron Hotchner (Mentioned) - Freeform, Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Sad, Verbal Argument
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:36:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29917716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bipsycho_earper/pseuds/bipsycho_earper
Summary: "Shit...She had messed up big time."
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 4
Kudos: 57
Collections: They Hurt Me First





	They Hurt Me First

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! I'm back again with another oneshot. It's shorter than last time, but I'm debating on making this a two parter, one from Emily's POV (this fic) and the same fic from JJ's POV (unwritten as of right now, but I know exactly what happens).
> 
> As always, I don't own any of these characters. Feedback is always welcome and please let me know if you'd want to read this from JJ's POV.

**They Hurt Me First**

"I still don't understand why Hotch sent _me_ to talk to the Colverts and not you!" Emily Prentiss huffed, leaning her chin on her hand as she gazed out the passenger-side window. The buildings whizzed by, their bright lights combined with the streetlights of the highway drowning out the faint glow of the moon and the stars.

The brunette could hear JJ hum for a moment. "He saw something there, I think. Maybe he thought you could connect with them?" She paused. "Lillian and Rachel Colvert had a very similar relationship to what you and your mother have; I bet that's why he sent you there."

Emily rolled her eyes. "But that's not what I do! I don't know how to talk to families! That's what _you're_ good at!" She glared over at JJ as the blonde flicked her eyes from the road ahead of them to the rear view mirror and back again. 

"You've got to empathize with them, Em," JJ replied quietly. "Show that you understand what they're going through. Hotch probably figured you understood what they went through."

"I _don't_ understand what they're going through!" Emily retorted louder, gesturing angrily at everything and nothing simultaneously. "Unbeknownst to common knowledge, I can't actually read their minds!"

"Emily, he's not asking you to read their minds." JJ's voice rose slightly, seemingly trying to contend with the older woman's. "He's asking you to relate to them. You've got to take your experiences with your mother and find that understanding between the both of you."

"Maybe that works for you, Jennifer," Emily nearly shouted, feeling the frustration build up inside of her chest, ready to burst out and tear the nearest thing to shreds. "But you and I work differently. I don't understand how I'm supposed to go into this family's house, tell them that their teenage daughter snuck out to the bar and is now _dead_! And then try to _relate_ to Lillian by telling her that I understand what Rachel was going through because my mother was also a bitch? 'Cause _that_ would help put them at ease."

"I—"

"I just want to go home."

Emily exhaled deeply, leaning her chin back on her hand and her forehead against the cold window. She watched as her breath fogged up the glass, wondering exactly how cold it was outside, but lacking the motivation to actually check.

The rest of the car ride felt silent, though the radio was turned up much louder than anyone's car radio should be...at least, in Emily's opinion. If her girlfriend spoke a word at all by the time they reached their house, Emily didn't hear it. 

Their cul-de-sac was quiet when JJ pulled the car into the garage, as it usually was late at night. The kids had all finished their activities and been tucked into bed. The adults were either out and about or eating dinner in the comfort of their own homes. Not to say that it was a noisy cul-de-sac during the day. Everyone that lived there was friendly and all, but everyone lived their own lives at their own pace with minimal interaction and Emily didn't mind that at all.

It was what she had been used to, growing up in several different countries: polite neighbors, quiet nights, little-to-no neighborhood friends. Peace on the cul-de-sac every night was a welcome sound after a tough case. 

Emily gathered her jacket in her arms as she promptly excited the car, nearly slamming the passenger door as she opened the door to the back seat to retrieve her go-bag. She could feel the frustration radiating off of her fingertips by the time she made it inside, leaving her shoes by the door and making a beeline for their bedroom. Tossing her go-bag on their bed, she began to strip as she shuffled into the bathroom, turning on the water and waiting for the water to heat up before stepping under the spray.

It still bugged her why Hotch had put her on "family duty" and not kept her at the station like usual. Emily massaged her scalp with shampoo and let out a sigh. It made no sense! JJ was the master at consoling families! She could empathize with everyone!

Though, maybe JJ had a point when they were in the car. The Colverts _did_ have a familial relationship that almost paralleled her own...well, minus the whole United States Ambassador bit. 

She knew _exactly_ how Rachel must have felt that night she went out to the bar. It's not like she was new to the idea of sneaking out to the bar. In fact, Emily Prentiss had perfected her tactics of sneaking out without alerting any of the staff nearly three times a week! 

(She almost considered starting a how-to blog to teach other "rebel teens" until she recalled her number one rule: don't let yourself wind up on _any_ social media!)

Emily knew that Rachel just wanted to have a good time out with her friends, got cornered by the unsub at the bar, and, unfortunately, trusted him to give her a ride home. It was a scenario that she had witnessed many times, whether through cases or from her own teenage years, though not to the extent of murder. 

It's not like Rachel's parents helped the situation either. Her father seemed indifferent to any of the information she tried to convey, while Lillian switched between sobbing hysterically and screaming devil's murder at Emily every half second, blaming the FBI for not saving their daughter.

Granted, they had just lost their only daughter to a psychopath, so naturally there would be tears involved. Was this what JJ had to deal with on a regular basis? Emily let the hot water warm her skin for another minute before reluctantly shutting off the water.

Shit…

She had messed up big time. JJ was just trying to help her out, especially since the blonde was the one who was so good at this job. Her frustration should have never been aimed at JJ, who had nothing to do with the situation in the first place. 

Not to mention that she used JJ's full name in the car which never _ever_ happened between the two of them, even if they were pissed at one another.

_Fuck…_

"Jen?" Emily called out, her voice echoing around the house as she threw on a pair of pajama pants and a hoodie. "Jen, I am beyond sorry for what I said in the car. It was shitty and I should have never taken my frustration out on you."

Silence.

"Jen?"

The brunette tied her hair up into a damp, messy bun as she searched the house, but was unable to find the blonde. She found her phone where she had tossed it haphazardly on the coffee table by her shoes.

There was one notification lingering on the phone's dim screen.

_Jen: going for a walk_

_(sent 8:42 pm)_

"8:42," Emily mumbled to herself, checking the time as she deftly punched in her passcode. The phone's clock read 9:31 pm.

For one, Emily knew that JJ never went for walks, it was always for a run. But maybe she just needed some fresh air? No, she still would've gone for a run. It's not that cold out though, maybe she saw something down the street and wanted to take a look? No, JJ knew better than to go out walking alone at night, especially with what they saw constantly at work, not to mention it was below freezing. 

Something was off.

Slipping her shoes over bare feet, Emily flipped her phone's flashlight on as she entered the garage. The door was still open, the light off and infiltrated only by the dull glow of the moon. 

She looked up and down the driveway, finding no sign of JJ, before venturing over to the path she knew JJ would run every morning. The mud was still drying from the midday rain they had received and Emily could tell that none of the scattered shoe prints matched JJ's.

Sighing in defeat, Emily returned to the base of the driveway, pausing to think of where else JJ could have gone while she examined the weakness of her phone's flashlight.

Her phone...she could call JJ!

After a brief moment of mental beration for not having thought of it sooner, Emily dialled JJ's number into her phone, knowing the ten digits by heart. One ring.

Two.

Three.

Four.

_"Hey! You've reached Jennifer Jareau! Unfortunately, I can't take your call right now, but leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can!"_

_Beep!_

"Jen? It's Emily.

"God, I'm so worried about you. I'm so beyond sorry for everything I said in the car. It was wrong of me to burden you with my anger from the case, especially since you were just trying to help me.

"I don't know where you are and I'm two seconds away from calling the team here to help me look for you."

Emily exhaled shakily before continuing. "Please, please, _please_ pick up your phone Jen. Or even just text me. Please! Anything to let me know if you're safe. I'd understand if you wanted to go and sleep over at Penelope's, if you wanted to be away from me. I could go and take Morgan's sleeper couch overnight. Just say the word and I will do it.

"Anything, Jen. Anything you need, I will do it. What I did was wrong. God...please just be safe...and stay alive, please...I love you..."

The brunette wiped a tear from her cheek as she hung up the phone, turning the flashlight that had been automatically switched off back on. She aimed it around her surroundings, not caring whether she disturbed any of her neighbors; all she cared about was finding JJ.

There! At the end of the cul-de-sac!

There was a figure sitting in the middle of the cul-de-sac circle. Shining the flashlight at her own feet, Emily could see a faint glow right by where she had seen the figure sitting. It had to be JJ.

She took off in a run, not caring that the cold air sent a chill down her spine. Her steps slowed to a walk as she approached the figure, knowing immediately that it was JJ. Emily could hear the faint sniffs coming from her girlfriend, knowing that the runny nose was partially due to the cold weather. Soft music also came from the phone by JJ's feet, still showing Emily's missed call.

"Jen?" Emily asked softly, hoping for any sort of response whatsoever, but receiving none. Instead, she sat next to her girlfriend, facing the rest of the road. "I'm sorry, for everything."

No response.

"If you want, I could sleep on the couch, or take you to Penelope's or drive myself to Morgan's to sleep on his couch if you don't want to be in the same house tonight. Whatever you need."

Another sniff, followed by a shaken exhale.

Testing her limits, Emily reached out to one of JJ's hands, wrapped firmly around the legs drawn to her chest. Her own hand felt like a flame against the iciness of JJ's, which terrified Emily. She didn't want JJ to catch a sickness, especially since it was her own fault that JJ was out here in the first place.

The blonde finally lifted her head, looking at Emily with tears lingering in her eyes before curling into the older woman. Emily immediately adjusted her, wrapping the shivering woman in her arms and pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"I am so sorry," the brunette repeated. "I understood everything you were saying earlier; I was just too pissed at Hotch to see beyond my own arrogance and I should have never dumped that on you. Whatever you want or need from me, I'm all yours."

"I want to go home," the broken whisper came from Emily's shoulder. "I want to go home."

"Mkay," Emily nodded, tucking her and JJ's phones into her hoodie's pocket and standing up. Her hand never left JJ's, helping the younger woman to her feet and pulling her into a tight embrace. They stood, wrapped around one another in the darkness, JJ arms clinging to the back of Emily's neck as she lifted the blonde.

Emily tucked one arm under JJ as JJ's legs wrapped easily around Emily's waist, the brunette's other hand tangling themselves in JJ's hair to press protectively against the back of the freezing woman's head. JJ once again buried her head in the curve of Emily's neck, holding her tightly.

Tears soaked through the hoodie, chilling Emily's skin, but she didn't mind. JJ was safe, alive, in her arms and Emily swore she would never let go again.

"Let's get you home."


End file.
